The Journey

Recently I was talking with my brother and sister-in-law, reflecting on high school graduations.  I reminisced about how I attended summer school after graduating high school in order to earn a math credit needed to be accepted into college.

My brother responded with slight surprise in his voice, “Really?”

“Yes,” I stated, “You don’t remember that?”  He did not remember. In fact, it appears that he did not know.  How did he not know this?  I realized that I did not specifically share the information with him, as he was younger and in middle school at the time.

Our conversation that day, along with other recent encounters with different people and situations, reminded me about aspects of my academic and professional journey that I had forgotten.

Additionally, a consistent message has been buzzing around for the last several years:  the power of a story.  The message is everywhere! Thus, I have been convinced that it is time to share highlights of my story – for several reasons.  The journey has not always been easy nor one that I have shared with many. Notwithstanding, the experiences have been memorable, worth every effort, and will hopefully encourage someone else.  How? By helping a person realize that no one is exempt from the possibility to transcend any odds stacked against him or her.

Although there are many possible places to begin, I will start at high school, for it was there that my school counselor told me that I was not college material.  This is how I interpreted the conversation.  However, a different reality has formed as I have reflected on the encounter over the years through the lens of an educator while remembering my 17-year-old self.

I had, in high school, done enough to get by, rarely studied, and was mostly interested in a couple of subjects and being with my friends.

During my senior meeting(s), the counselor most likely concluded my college ability by looking at my average grades and average standardized test scores, reviewing the fact that I was missing a math credit to get into college, and hearing me answer “no” and “I don’t know” to a lot of questions such as “where do you want to go to college…what do you want to do…have you applied to any schools…have you taken the ACT…SAT…how will you pay for school?” Thus, I have concluded that the counselor was most likely offering options for me to be successful in life.  Yet, my teenage brain heard, “You will not be successful in college.”

Although the words were hurtful, the ultimate responsibility and choice was mine.  Thankfully, there were other voices speaking in my ear about my future; my Mother certainly told me where I was going to college.  Positive parental / guardian guidance and support are essential to the success of any youth.

As previously mentioned, I attended summer school at my old high school a few days after I graduated to earn the missing math credit.  There are times when one has to do whatever work is necessary to achieve a desired goal, no matter how inconvenient the step(s) may be.

I was provisionally enrolled in college, with the first semester consisting of remedial courses.

The first semester was a success worth celebrating. However, as the semesters progressed, I became more concerned about being social than going to class and ended up failing several courses resulting in academic probation.

The counselor’s words were ringing true…until I found my niche. I changed my major to psychology and began to excel. I buckled down, studied, and began to earn better grades because the field interested me. Thankfully failure was not the end of the story.

Another assistance for academic improvement was that I became responsible to pay for my own tuition.  Nothing raises value and appreciation like having to use one’s own money and other resources to pay for something. I began working while attending class and became even more focused.

There were people along the way supporting and encouraging me, which also helped me progress forward.  I was a shy, introverted person who took awhile to warm-up to people. Thus, I needed as much support as I was able to get; their support was invaluable.

Being rooted in faith was the most critical asset toward my academic improvement.

Fortunately, the high school counselor’s words proved to be wrong.  I simply needed to mature and find what was of interest to me. Sometimes giving people space and time to figure things out makes all the difference in the world.

There was, however, another encounter involving an advisor in college who suggested pursuing my psychological aspirations through human resources rather than clinically – meaning diagnosing and working with individuals one-on-one.  His words reminded me of my high school counselor, as I was getting the impression the advisor was telling me “You will not be successful, clinically,” even though I received a strong evaluation from my internship experience. Notwithstanding, I followed the advisor’s suggestion and opted to begin my career in the business sector after graduating college.

Earlier I mentioned that there were people who supported me academically.  They continued to support me as I entered the career path.  It is important, however, to mention that there were also those who were not supportive.  Why mention the non-supporters? Because every journey has antagonists…the ones that want to see others fail, even you, and will do and say things intentionally designed to hurt and sabotage you – with or without your knowledge. It is imperative to learn how to keep going despite others’ negativity and bad intentions.

For every promotion received in life, every promotion, whether large or small, there were – in varying degrees – jealous, envious, backstabbing, and downright hateful people… sometimes those I least expected to behave as such.  As Maya Angelou stated, “When people show you who they are, believe them.”  Know your circle, or tribe, because there just may be a Jesus and a Judas among them.

I entered the business field and within a couple of years, one phone call changed the trajectory of my life. I was working at a call center and even received a promotion within several months because of efficiency.  Me? This shy woman? A Promotion?  I was elated. However, my response to a caller about 1 ½ years into the job was the last straw for me; it was time to go.  Within the week I looked in the classified ads; saw a job for an in-home counselor for children, youth, and adolescents; applied; and interviewed.  They were desperate, I was desperate…it was a perfect match – said no one ever.

I started the new job two weeks later.

This was an interesting experience.  I was young, green, and wanted to save the world. There was a lot to learn in many ways. And here I was, in a clinical setting of sorts, debunking my college advisor’s advice. If nothing else I was beginning to learn that it was wise to seek advice and counsel, but to avoid allowing others to define me by their expectations. Now, let me say again, I was beginning to learn this; much growth was still needed.

About a year or so into the job, two of my colleagues and I were promoted to team leaders, which required us to get a master’s degree in counseling. Thus, four years after finishing undergrad, I was going back to school.  Looking back, I wonder why they did not require their agency to pay for our degrees?  I digress; it all worked out in the end.  I had the option to leave if I did not want to return to school.  The promotion demonstrated that others were seeing in me what I had yet to fully realize within myself.  They were willing to develop my leadership skills even before I had the matching credentials.

My colleagues and I worked full-time while attending class each Thursday evening after work for 2 ½ years, driving 1 hour and 45 minutes to attend class for four hours and then returning home. There were instances of weekend classes and other make-up courses for me.  Notwithstanding, I earned mostly A’s (3.96 GPA), the complete opposite of my undergrad experience.  Again, because I was deeply invested in the major.

Having a master’s degree in counseling at the time was not enough to practice clinically; a license was also required.  Thus, after graduating, two of us began the process of becoming licensed professional counselors, which required face-to-face, monthly supervision meetings and 2000 hours of clinical work. The just enough to get by attitude was being changed into a positive work ethic, aka grit.

Another interesting thing was happening.  Much of my job required me to visit youth clients in their schools.  Going into the schools began to cultivate a desire for me to work in the school setting. Yet there was a nagging doubt in the back of my mind – how did I expect to work in a school when my academic experience in high school and the first part of undergrad were so…average or failing?

Check-in next Monday to read the remaining highlights of The Journey = My Journey.